Three Things I’m Already Tired of
by Hoover Dam
- Ben Olsen’s rented kid
- That one shot of Garrett with his head buried in the flag at the end of MLS Cup 07
- “7 Nation Army”
True Tales From the MLS Cup! (Part 4 – Wherin I lose yet another scarf and watch my team lose yet another final)
by Hoover Dam
My retinue rolled outta the hotel shortly after 7 and turned up at the RFK parking lot just before 8. Unsurprisingly, we were among the first there, with a line of Rev-flagged cars forming outside the gates. Arguing with parking attendants about when we’re allowed in–why, they made it just like home! Soon enough, the gates opened, and people started to stream in.
Went in early to set up banners, got everything in place, saw an absolutely beautiful field, failed to convince Evan to give Julie Foudy his scarf. This was also the first time I’ve taken all the usual stadium banners to a final and had them be in front of actual Rev fans. Past two years, it’s been a bunch of Rev banners in front of a bunch of neutral fans, since the number of us willing to travel to Dallas just fits in one section of Pizza Hut Park.
As more and more people showed up for the tailgate, the question became less “who’s here” and more “who isn’t here,”–we had people coming in from Seattle, from Portland, I think there was a guy from Arizona, we had some other teams’ fans bandwagoning us for the day (mostly Dallas and a couple Colorado), it was absolutely insane. Everyone grilling, eating a nutritious breakfast of Pop-Tarts and Sam Adams, singing and yelling, getting psyched for the game.
(Read on …)
True Tales From the MLS Cup (Part 4 – Wherin I learn the definition of Dan Loney’s neologism “Tooligans”)
by tedski
Okay…I’ve hemmed, hawed, dawdled, procrastinated and otherwise delayed. But here it is, a full two weeks after the game…an actual account of…well…THE GAME.
First off, I was still operating on MST (God’s own time zone), so I woke my tired body up at around 8:30 and stared at the ceiling for a while. This meant I didn’t actually stir until after nine. I wandered into the living room where Brittany and Catherine were. With a quick shower and all, we wouldn’t leave the house until nearly ten. We’d surely miss the tailgate and our only opporitunity for food at the expense of Monty Rodrigues and company.
I had brought extra Rev jerseys for Brittany and Catherine. Brittany wore the Red colared 1998 jersey; she said it looked more “Butch.” Heck, I don’t see it, but whatever. We had cvonvinced Catherine to wear my old 1996 jersey, but she was apparently turned off by the ring around the colar. Instead, she wore the blue practice jersey that Brad Feldman gave me the day before. I wore the 1997 game worn Leonardo Squadrone jersey. Yep, Squadrone.
We arrived and found a parking space a bit after eleven. I brought my melodica. Hey, works for Roller Derby.
(Read on …)
True Tales From The MLS Cup! (Part 3 – Wherin I sightsee)
by Hoover Dam
After the US game, we went and got some Indian buffet lunch, figuring it might be the only actual meal available all day, then Tedski split to go get a nap and the rest of us (me, Evan, Geoff, and Bill) walked around the Mall getting some tourist sorta photos. We kept running into Houston fans who avoided eye contact. There was even a lone Real Salt Lake fan walking around by the White House.
While hanging around outside the White House, we ran into a couple of our buddies who’d come in from Houston, and who we’d set up with a room at our hotel. After some photo ops involving an army of people on Segways, we all went over to the league hotel to people-watch for a spell, possibly shoplift some more glasses. We didn’t get to the bar, but we did get to gawk at the various players and league officials hanging around the lobby. I insisted we pester Cobi Jones for a photo before we left, and then we went back to our hotel to regroup before hitting the evening’s party.
My view of the party wasn’t too much different from Tedski’s–place was packed, everyone was loud, lots of fans from all different teams. Spent most of the evening hanging out with the Houston fans I know, which was a fine time. Took off around quarter to 11, figuring it’d have to be an early morning on gameday.
True Tales From The MLS Cup! (Part 3 – Wherin I make a futile effort to recover from jet lag)
by tedski
After visiting with the USA fans, I decided to head back to Brittany and Catherine’s house for a bit of a nap.
On the way back, I encountered two Houston fans at the Metro station. Although this game was not “huge” by US sports standards, it was hard to spit without hitting folks decked out in orange or blue scarves.
I approached the Houston fans.
“Excuse me, I’m supposed to kick your asses, which one of you first?”
“Oh, me first, just be careful with the face.”
I got back to Brittany and Catherine’s for an hour long nap. Well…I thought it would be an hour long. I woke up with enough time to take a shower and get on the Metro to Crystal City for yet another supporter’s gathering. This one was at a sports bar with the creative name of Crystal City Sports Pub.
The “Pub” was three stories, with the first two floors packed with Rev and Dynamo fans. The third floor was being used by a group of Clemson fans watching a gridiron game. At first sight, we thought the room was full of Houston fans, since they share colors.
Midnight Riders instigator Monty Rodrigues was holding court on the second floor balcony. You could actually hear them clearly from the first floor. It made me wonder what the Clemson fans thought they had gotten into.
I was still remarkably tired, but so was everyone else, so I skedaddled around 9:30 or so. Catherine’s admonision to me that I couldn’t catch the Metro after 2 AM was well meaning but rather useless that weekend.
Had to wake up early for the big game, right?
True Tales From The MLS Cup! (Part 2: Wherin I use pancakes as hand puppets)
by Hoover Dam
Why, oh why do restaurants insist on passing off brown-colored corn syrup as suitable pancake topping?
Anyway, my Saturday morning was much less eventful than Tedski’s, in that all I really did was go to the official US Soccer-sponsored viewing party for the US-South Africa game. Evan and I met up with a few other buddies, and it turned out the bar filled up with mostly RBNY fans, including Ives Galarcep and seemingly most of the ESC. Oh, and the dude who does the Studio 90 interviews for US Soccer was there, so I got to tell him how a throwaway joke in one of his Copa America spots got me a free jersey. (Long story, but let’s just say Jimmy Conrad has indie rock cred to spare). The game itself wasn’t terribly exciting, since lately it seems like we mostly field an entire team of d-mids. Yes, I know up front is where he’s getting the job done for Fulham lately and two senior MLS forwards were otherwise busy that day, but the Rev fan in me would really prefer Demps back in midfield–just cut him loose to run wherever the hell he wants. The NY fans were great to have on hand for the huge cheers that went up when Altidore took the field; I only wish the bar had oatmeal on the menu in honor of the guy’s nickname.
Plus it probably would’ve been a damn sight better than their pancakes.
True Tales From The MLS Cup! (Part 2: Wherin I inadvertently crash the Media Cup)
by tedski
Woke up later than I would have liked on Saturday, although it was a bit after five MST (God’s own time zone). I packed the backpack I got for free when I worked for the Tucson Amigos, the one with the special compartments for shin guards and boots. It makes me feel as if I am a for-real footy player.
Went down to RFK where, if my addled memory served me, the fan cup was supposed to have been played on a nearby field. I wandered around for a bit. I saw a group of thirty and fourty somethings playing short-sided soccer. Seeing the paunches and male pattern baldness, I figured that was my crowd. I went over there.
“I hope I am not late,” I told the woman who was staffing a table at the entrance.
“Not at all. Here is a jersey, you are on the dark blue team.” I was a bit taken aback. A Screaming Eagles muckety-muck I spoke to the night before told me that they were providing pinneys, but didn’t say anything about jerseys. Cool though, I got me a free jersey.
(Read on …)
True Tales From The MLS Cup! (Part 1: We’re doing this Rashomon-style)
by Hoover Dam
As near as I can figure, I was the first of the New England delegation outside of the team to arrive in the area, getting into BWI around 2 and into the hotel downtown around 4. The clerk at the check-in desk seemed delighted to have me there when I mentioned what brought me to town and that it was my first time in DC (true–in thirty years I’ve been to a dozen world capitals but this was the first time visiting my own). I mention this only because it sets up a theme of the weekend, and that is that the staff at the JW Marriott downtown was ridiculously friendly all weekend. Napped for a bit in the room, then met up with Tedski and his buddy Brittany to head to the official meet and greet a few blocks away.
The party was pretty decent, saw fans from just about every team delgation, but the layout of the bar made it kind of hard to circulate, especially if you wanted to grab some eats, as we did. We apparently missed some players and fans we were supposed to meet up with thanks to that. Probably the lamest spinach/artichoke dip ever, but eh, I wasn’t paying for it. Immediately bumped into Andy Mead among the KC delegates, whom I’m always happy to see. Chatted for a bit with SJ, TFC, and DC fans. Holy crap, there are Crew fans here! They brought an ivory-billed woodpecker and a photo of Josh Wolff where he’s smiling. Tedski and Brittany actually bailed on the party well before I did, as I was waiting to meet up with my buddy Rohel from NY (why we love MLS: Where else do rival teams’ fans party together? We really did see Houston and Dallas fans drinking together at the party, even). I was also waiting for our pal Evan to show up, since I had his hotel room key.
After shoving glasses with drinks still in them into my jacket pockets, Evan and I decided to call it a night, and on the way out, who should we see but Balboa, Clavijo, and Revs GM Craig Tornberg all coming in. Resisted the temptation to ask Clavijo why he still draws a paycheck, got a few photos, and hit the road, as we knew we had to be up early the next day for the US-South Africa viewing party.
True Tales From The MLS Cup! (Part 1: Wherin we re-appropriate pint glasses for the proletariat)
by tedski
I arrived at BWI at around 5 PM and met my friends Brittany and Catherine. Just so y’all know…don’t ever, ever book a flight on a 737, especially when the seating has been configured by the folks at Continental. I’m up for a case of deep bone thrombosis, just like Lainie Kazan.
I called HooverDam, and I was supposed to meet her at her hotel. Of course, I was late. Darn that Washington traffic.
The get-together for fans was at a bar in what turned out to be the headquarters hotel for the Cup. There was also a more toney get together at another bar across from us. That one featured a guy carying the cup. Soccer celebrities spotted: Brian Hall, Marcelo Balboa, Dante Washington.
We figured out pretty quickly that the toney celebration wasn’t ours (I had a habit of crashing the wrong events this weekend. More on that later.) We went to the other bar after being informed by a fellow fan we were in the wrong place. I spotted Washington, and I told him I played lacrosse with an old roommate of his. Of course, I couldn’t remember the name of the roommate for the life of me.
They had certificates that they handed each one of us that allowed us to get ten dollars worth of stuff for free at the bar. I guess they know that most MLS fans would easily drink three times that much. However, our little group included a teatoatler and a vegitarian. I was not the vegetarian. I took advantage of the discount and ordered the ribs.
Our drinks were served in glasses bearing the 2007 MLS Cup logo. We thought, cool…our first souveneir. However, the staff at the bar was remerkably efficient in taking the glasses away the moment they approached empty. I don’t know anything about this directly, of course, but I heard a rumor that several fans snuck these glasses out of the bar.
I was approached by one self-identified “uni-geek” who admired my Tucson Toros hat. When I informed him I own a complete Toros uniform (mid-90’s vintage) he got way too giddy. I told him that I also own a jersey from the first season they affiliated with the Astros, a particularly infamous and ugly one. I think he actually orgasmed at that point.
I was the designated driver on the way from the bar (that was, after we got lost trying to get to where the car was parked.). I managed to maneuver my way home somehow.
MLS Cup 07
by Hoover Dam
oh fuckin’ hell