Time And Thierry
by Jimmy Stagger
Here’s the theme song for our European “friends” in the media regarding Thierry Henry’s signing with New York (from henceforth to be known as “The Worst Kept MLS Secret Since Ever”). The usual half-witted, poorly-researched, blatantly anti-American “pieces” having been making the rounds despite all evidence to prove them wrong. The usual point-and-laugh line is “Oh LOL MLS is teh retirement league, m8, Yanks don’t kno footie!”
That was as painful for me to type as it was for you to read. And I mean the article as well. Is Henry past his prime? Of course he is. He was when he left North London for Barcelona in 2007 as a replacement, more or less, for Henrik Larsson who had left the Nou Camp at the end of 2006 to return home to play for Helsingborg. Oh my Lord, you know when you read that…La Liga is a retirement league! You heard it here first kids. They replaced one striker with his best days behind him with another one. But of course seeing as this all happened amongst the biggest clubs in Europe, everything is OK. Just another day on the Continent.
Somehow though when these movements involve an Atlantic crossing our league is suddenly neighbors with the Running Back Rest Home Emmitt Smith lives in on those Just For Men ads. Nonsense of course. If we’re on the same level as the famous (and undisputed) retirement leagues of Saudi Arabia and the UAE, how is it that there’s a decent amount of MLS-trained Americans plying their trade in the vaunted Barclay’s English Premier League? Haven’t really seen much movement from Dubai Club or Al-Ittihad to Jolly Old England, have you?
At 32 Henry is 2 years younger than Roy Keane was when he left Manchester United for an obvious final paycheck and farewell tour on the Irish Nationalist side of Glasgow. If you’d like to say the Scottish Premier League is a retirement league please join me on Saturday mornings at The Banshee in Dorchester, MA. First make sure your insurance covers dental work. Henry is only slightly older (3 years) than Jaap Stam was when he left Manchester United for Lazio and younger than Jaap was when he wrapped up his career with a final cash-in with AC Milan and a final homestand with Ajax. Juan Sebastián Verón wasn’t exactly his old self when left his loan at Inter to go home and play for Estudiantes de La Plata in 2006. How much hate mail (in 2, if not 3, languages) do you think I’d get if I wrote a mocking post here about how the Argentinian Primera División is just a rest home for washed-up old players with their Euro glory days behind them?
While we’re down in the Southern Hempishere let’s look at a situation the BBC’s Tim Vickery describes in his South American soccer blog. Seems like the Brazilian league isn’t precisely up to snuff anymore and the main playmaker is 38 year old Dejan Petkovic. Promising home-grown star Robinho has gone to Europe and failed, returning home with his tail between his legs. Oh my. Shades of Landon Donovan post-Leverkusen anybody?
I shouldn’t say that too loud for fear of being branded a know-nothing Yank by the European & Latin American Real Football/Futbol Writers Association (Luis Bueno, North American representative)…but you see what I’m saying. Yeah, Thierry’s past it. So what. He’s got plenty left in the tank and tickets are going fast which might the first time in the sad history of the New York MLS franchise you can say something like that. MLS is a young, growing league that needs some help at this stage in its development from established stars in the second half of their careers. It isn’t a sin. If you think it is, take off that Beckham AC Milan shirt.
P.S. I actually like Luis Bueno’s work.
Henry’s Induction
by tedski
I suppose here we have two models for DP: Beckham and Blanco.
(I would bring up crash outs like Denilson or even Matthäus, but I think we are all smarter than that now and it ruins the alliteration.)
The line in 2007 before either of them had actually kicked a ball in an MLS game was that Beckham was going to be a strong leader that would improve the Galaxy and be great for the game and that Blanco, well, his personality was going to ruin the Fire and he would phone it in.
We all know how that turned out.
Henry doesn’t have the entourage, or demands, that Beckham came with and is expected to be, you know, a soccer player. No one is talking movie deals, reality television or who he’s married to. The Red Bulls are a much better team (both on the field and front office) than the Galaxy was in 2007, heck, they are having their best season ever (and that isn’t the faint praise it sounds like). I don’t expect the chaos that Becks brought.
Now, if Henry brings in his own coach and management company, I’ll change my opinion.
Henry–lly?
by MalenaBear
This past Monday, it was widely reported that Thierry Henry would be coming to the MLS to play with the New York Red Bulls; however, there has yet to be an official announcement. Henry says he is still a Barcelona player, and that he is currently focused on representing France in World Cup this summer.
I should be excited about this, mainly because Henry was a Gunner, but I can’t help but to be less than enthusiastic. And, given the results of the Beckham Experiment, I’m not so sure I can be excited that this potential move is going to be a game changer for football in the US. Just sayin’.
Also, I have some Henry beef (which is really Barcelona and France beef).
Beef #1: I have not yet recovered from Messi’s 22-minute hat trick against my boys during the April 6 European Champion’s League game where he ultimately scored Barcelona’s four goals against Arsenal. I realize it has been months. The loss still haunts my dreams. So, for the time being: I hate Barcelona, and, therefore, Henry.
Beef #2: We all know it: Ireland should be in the World Cup, not France. I’m looking at you, Henry.
So, really? I’m supposed to be excited? I mean, really?
Delayed Open Cup Commentary
by tedski
Memo to all the obnoxious Chivas fans I have ever met: the guys that spanked your boys last week not only couldn’t beat Guadalajara’s “inferior” American sister club, but got pulled apart by an undermanned third tier team. Man, out performed by Crystal Palace Baltimore? Your guys must suck.
Anyway, the real reason for this post: the Charleston Battery defeated MLS Cup holders Houston Dynamo in penalty kicks. The decider was when Franco Caraccio’s shot was saved by Charleston’s ‘keeper. That ‘keeper: former Tucson Amigo Dusty Huddock.
Gotta keep that flag flying.
Weekend MLS Roundup
by tedski
Yes, yes, SPAIN BABY! Okay…but what truly are the footy stories this weekend?
- The Red Bulls defeat the for-real-Chivas, but draw Chivas Lite. So, tell me what is up with that? What happens if Chivas USA beats Guadalajara in the Superliga?
- What was encouraging in the Revs defeat of Toronto was how it wasn’t because the other team was so bad. Lately it seems that the defense is so sloppy that the Revs win by dint of Matt Reis. This one, they were actually the team that they could be.
- Okay, ‘cept for the own goal. Funny thing, I get those cell phone updates (in case I can’t watch the game). When the goal was originally reported, the message I got said “TOR Goal! Edu (Guevara) TOR 1 – NER 2.” Okay. About twenty minutes after the game was over, I got a message “TOR Goal! Joseph (Own Goal) TOR 2 – NER 2.” Weird, really.
- DCU 4 – LAG 1. Hmm. Missed it. What the heck happened there? I am going out to LA to see them play against New England. Either this is the first signal of LA’s collapse, of they will have something big to prove on the fourth. Ya know, given the Revs’ record when I am at their games…I am afraid of what the answer is.
Goats v MetroBulls in the Valley of the Yakes
by tedski
Fair’s Fair
by Hoover Dam
Said I’d post my picks when Tedski posted his, so:
Chicago Fire: This is about the last team for whom I’ve got anything kind to say after last night’s game, but: Chris Rolfe. He’s Nicol’s kind of player; it’d be easy to see him as a Rev, though you’d have to imagine the trade price there would be too high.
CD Chivas USA: This one’s harder, given the rules on no USMNT regulars, because my favorite guys on Chivas are also Bob Bradley’s favorites–Guzan, Bornstein, Kljestan. I could cheat and say I totally liked those guys before they got a senior US look, but I won’t; instead, I’ll note that Maykel Gallindo is always fun to watch.
Columbus Crew: Alejandro Moreno, particularly in this season to date.
Colorado Rapids: Do I put Burciaga here even though it’s not as a Rapid I know him best? Nah, this team’s an easy call: Bouna Coundoul. That man is like treasure, and I hope he sticks around Denver for years to come.
FC Dallas: Juan Toja’s almost too easy to pick here; he was just so damn fun to watch last season, plus Tedski already picked him. So I’ll go with Dax McCarty, who’s been steadily maturing into a very solid player, and who provides us endless hours of Pete and Pete jokes.
DC United: Bryan Namoff, one of those guys who quietly gets the job done.
Houston Dynamo: Used to be a running fan joke called the Steve Ralston Line, the measurement of guys who were so consistently good for their MLS teams, but just couldn’t crack the MNT regular lineup, for whatever reason. This, of course, was before Ralston did land a regular slot for the nats, but anyway, that line might as well be renamed for Brian Mullan–dipped a toe or two in the US pool, but consistently works his ass off for the Dynamo.
KC Wizards: Jack Jewsbury, no question. Would have been Nick Garcia except for that whole “got traded” thing.
Los Angeles Galaxy: Same problem here that Tedski had–just about everyone is either off-limits for this exercise or strictly a comedy option. Everyone, that is, except Chris Klein, who’s been able to stand next to Beckham just as well as Donovan has.
Red Bull New York: John Wolyniec. Every time he’s available, he’s always got it out for the Revs, and he genuinely seems to fight for a team that’s never known stability.
Real Salt Lake: Nathan Sturgis; even with the line above about Klein, I don’t think LA have even begun to realize what they lost on that trade. I get the same feeling from him that I do McCarty–these guys will be the Ralstons/Mastros/Conrads/Olsens of the new generation.
San Jose: Gotta go with a seemingly obvious sentimental favorite on this one and pick Joe Cannon, who’s never failed to entertain me.
Toronto FC: Todd Dunivant, who didn’t get enough credit at either LA or NY.
The Hoover Challenge
by tedski
Texas Poligamist Compound? Point of pride for me: those guys were all thrown out of my state.
Okay, I am supposed to pick one player from each team that I like. Hoover Dam had some rules, which, of course I will violate once or twice.
Chicago Fire: I am supposed to pick a player I actually like from a team that includes Calen Carr and Cuauhtémoc Blanco? The Chicago players I like have moved on, Francis Okaroh, Luboš Kubik, Jerzy Podbrozny, Jim Curtin and Evan Whitfield. I even once had a grudging respect for Zach Thornton. Hmm. After yesterday, and this will tick Hoover Dam off, I’d have to say Jon Busch. The man always seems to show up.
CD Chivas USA: It was so much easier to hate this team when it started, but they have an interesting collection of players these days. Even so, my answer is easy: Brad Guzan. The first season he was supposed to be the back-up but ended up starting. I remember how much crap he took from Chivas fans who blamed him for everything. The real trouble was that he was standing behind a sieve rather than a backline, and frankly, his being American born didn’t fit in with their vision of “Guadalajara Junior.” Luckily, the coaches recognized what a talent the man actually is.
Colorado Rapids: So, if I pick a Nat but I don’t pick him because a Nat, is that okay? I choose Pablo Mastroeni because he is the only guy in the league I have played against. When he played for the Tucson Amigos, my metro league team scrimaged them.
Columbus Crew: I could say Wil Hesmer, but I’ve already picked too many ‘keepers. I’m actually growing to like this team, and I’m glad that they finally a building a record that reflects how much work they put into their game. I’ll take Eddie Gaven only because it is fun to guess how long it’s been since he’s shaved.
DC United: This is harder to do than Chicago. Over the last twelve seasons, I never liked any of these guys. If my twin brother became their new d-mid, I’d hate him too. I’d have to hate myself because he looks just like me. Hm. I’d have to say Fred. I don’t know why. I guess his nom de guerre makes me giggle.
FC Dallas: Gosh, so hard now that neither Denilson nor Carlos Ruiz are playing for them. My pick is Nigel Tufnel, I mean Juan Toja.
Houston Dynamo: This team is lousy with Nats, so it is hard to make a pick and follow the rules. Actually, my two faves on the team are both Canadian. I go with Dwayne DeRosario. I like players that are enthusiastic and seem to, gosh, actually be having a good time out there.
Kansas City Wizards: Geez, I can’t pick a Nat? That means that Hoover Dam can’t pick Jimmy Conrad either. Hmm, Nelson Pizzaro is on my all name team only because the US should start him next time we play Peru. But, I’ll go with Scott Sealy.
Los Angeles Galaxy: I have trouble with this one, not because of visceral hate like I have for DC, Chicago and Red Bulls, but more because I really don’t see anyone standing out. Yeah, there are the two obvious ones (that I have been enjoined from picking, and wouldn’t pick anyhow). This is probably a big part of the reason that LA is playing so mediocre as of late (the evidence: LA’s website this morning brags that they were able to squeeze out a tie against Real Salt Lake. Real Salt Lake!). I probably should pick Alan Gordon, who has come into his own and is a fellow Arizonan. He was the guy that got subbed out for David Beckham when he premiered for the team, which makes him either the Wally Pipp or Jim Delsing of the league. I don’t know which. Actually, I probably should go for Greg Vanney, who has always impressed me and is also a fellow Arizonan.
New York Red Bulls: Geez. The guy I like on this team is actually mentioned by Hoover Dam as precisely the guy I am not supposed to mention. I’ll go with Dane Richards, who is pretty fun to watch.
Real Salt Lake: Did I ever mention to y’all that there was a rumor of a secret plan to move this team to Tucson when Dave Checketts was frustrated with the stadium situation? It would have been good to have the team somewhere where the word “real” actually gets pronounced “ray-al” once in a while. Anyway, my pick: Kyle Beckerman. He’s a good player, and as an added bonus there is the background drama about his trade from Colorado.
San Jose Earthquakes: There are actually quite a bit to pick from. These were all bubble players who I wanted to do well when they played for their old teams. I like Preston Burpo because he seems like a badass, but I doubt the guy will ever get a start. Yeah, I’ll pick him.
Toronto FC: Amado Guevara. Just kidding. I’ll go with Marvell Wynne. I think he’s made the lists of players who haven’t lived up to their advanced billing, but he hasn’t been on a decent team yet.
I Watched at Least Half of Every Game this Weekend
by Hoover Dam
Therefore, I feel compelled to share with you observations on each game.
DC vs Columbus: Heydude is playing like he’s ten years younger. Columbus in general look stronger, but I wonder the same thing about them as I do the Rapids: That’s fine for now, but what comes after? Is the strength there enough to last through October? DC, meanwhile, seem to be repeating last year’s early season performance of “forgetting season begins before June.” Whether that’s an improvement over forgetting the season begins before September, who can say.
TFC vs RSL: A very tightly played game from two teams trying desperately not to suck this year. Robert and Ricketts already seem miles better than anyone Toronto got last year.
RBNY vs New England: Altidore’s goal was the kind of fantastic shot you really wish he hadn’t just landed in your team’s net. Fortunately for New England, everyone else in NY continues to be “oh, that guy.” Kept it close there, though, and with a GK who isn’t Reis the Revs might not have been so fortunate to draw. Jeff Larentowicz can keep taking free kicks like that for as long as he wants.
Colorado vs. San Jose: James Riley for the “Why Can’t We Get Guys Like That” award. Not his best night out–that was last weekend in Foxboro–but I still think Coundoul is like treasure for the Rapids, and I hope he’s around for a long time.
LA vs. Houston: Only saw the second half of this one, which wasn’t long enough to get used to the commentators excitedly discussing the contributions of new Galaxy acquisition Joey Franchino. That will take some time. It was, however, long enough to see Landy at his meanest. I feel bad for my buddies in Houston.
Chicago vs. KC: That’s some mighty fine bus parking and time wasting on KC’s part right there. And who could forget Chad Barrett’s moving tribute to Beasley’s 07 Gold Cup miss?
Chivas vs. FC Dallas: How soon can we see a Coop-Jozy pairing up front for the USMNT? The halftime interview with Bornstein omitted the following seasonally appropriate question: “On all other nights, Chivas games are somewhat entertaining. Why, on this night, are you playing like ass?”
Shep is Correct…Several Times Even
by tedski
This weekend was one of those unfortunate ones where the Direct Kick broadcast is from MSG. This means I am treated to Shep Messing, who is a die hard homer for the MetroBulls, no matter how gawdawful or thuggish they are. There are times where I wonder if a Red Bulls player pulled out a morning star and beat an opposing goalkeeper to within an inch of his life Shep would just say, “At worst a free kick…”
Anyhoo, Shep has a halftime rant. In this one, he complained about the new ball. He threw in a couple of shots at low skill preening forwards who now look good because of the weird travel of the ball. It’s been said by others, but you half expected someone to show up to whipe the froth from his mouth. It was like listening to a fan complain about some obscure rule change that no one else would care about. Which, I suppose, is what it was.
Shep had two other parts of his rant. He doesn’t think Shalrie Joseph gets his props. I agree with that. I don’t know how if it’s the league or the penumbra of agents, sponsors and reporters, but it seems that the “star” system we have has little to do with on field performance (Beckham) or actual popularity among fans (Donovan). Actually, Shep, I’d like to see Joseph ignored a bit more. More of him for us.
Part three of Shep’s rant, and possibly the most beautiful: he thought that David Beckham is wasting his time playing for the Galaxy. More than that, he actually suggested that the Galaxy fold so Beckham could play for Chivas USA (!). Even a Galaxy basher like me hasn’t suggested that.
Okay: the game. A couple of things I noticed. Jozy Altidore’s goal rocked. I wish it wasn’t against the Revs, but hey. No biggie, he won’t be there by the time the Revs play New York again, right?
You are a man and a goal up, what do you do? Oh yeah, dribble the ball around to give the other team time to close on your players while putting nearly no pressure on the defense. Sounds like a fantastic idea.
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